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Why do I feel judged as a parent?

Writer's picture: Steph BroadbentSteph Broadbent

Updated: Jul 25, 2024

How is it possible that as a woman I can be totally comfortable with the person that I am and yet as a parent feel constantly ‘judged’. 

being judged as a parent
special needs child dance

It’s a total mystery to me, why when faced with my child’s bad behaviour do I crumble into a gibbering wreck. Admittedly on occasion it’s nearer to hysterics, like the occasion when a very serious faced teacher came to speak to me in the school playground to inform me that my son had been “wearing a pair of pants on his head” and “was I aware that he had brought pants to school?” I’m afraid all composure left me as I rolled around the playground laughing. I knew it wasn’t the correct parental response but I’m afraid I lost it. I know it’s ridiculous to worry so much about what others think and as a dance teacher and Scout leader I don’t judge   because a child does something wrong, it’s just what children do. It’s a normal part of the learning and growing up process, if a child always follows the rules how will they know the limits, it’s important to explore boundaries to push the limits, to explore the person that they want to be.  I value the children who push the limits, I see their leadership potential, their creativity, their ingenuity.  I see a young person with character,  who is capable of so much and for whom the possibilities are endless.

I just wish I could find a way of translating those genuine feelings with my own reactions when it’s my child who is exploring the boundaries of how to wear his underpants!

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